The troublesome ten percent More action - less teamwork For each of is there are some areas of our lives where we know that try as we will, we lack the skills or abilities we require, where we experience troublesome stuff ups or breakdowns and deep inside we know that we could have done better. These are signs which tell you these situations are: • in some way the work of certain members of your inner protector character and • that the activities of these relatively few inner protector characters repeatedly cause trouble out of all proportion to their number and • that what they do can undermine much of the good work the rest of your inner village team are doing. As you can see from the list below one of the basic problems with these few inner protector characters members is their lack of integration. This limits their ability to work as a team and adds other complications. Below are some pointers that tell you if a typical less integrated inner protector character has taken over or feels that it is ‘in charge’. The signs are much the same whether you are noticing your own, or someone else’s less integrated inner protector character Although the examples are about spoken interactions, you could observe the same pointers if you were reading an e-mail, report or letter the inner protector character had helped write. 1. Do the words or actions being used by this character reflect polarised or unbalanced thinking? Less integrated characters think more strongly in terms of oppositeness or polarised thinking up or down, left or right, winner or loser. They describe things as: • one thing is good or bad; black or white the other is not • one thing is right, the opposite is wrong; • one thing must be done but the other must not • one way must work and the other must fail • some things will always be that way others will never be like that • Interactions with another person seem to push each into a position that reflects the view that either: ‘our power/resources are bigger than the problem’ or ‘the problem is bigger than our power/resources’ or the person switches back and forth between each of these two positions. • The level of power between two such opposing inner protector characters appears to be unstable, suddenly rises and then falls or is just out of balance. 2. Is there a sense of opposition or conflict around what the inner protector character is doing and saying? The lower the integration the less confident the character feels and the more then chance that they will see their opposite as a threat or point of conflict. Less integrated characters usually size up an opposite number as an opponent or adversary and (in sporting terms) mark them accordingly (It may be on the same field or off the field (discredited characters) or an inner protector character in another person, but which ever it is this sense of opposition and conflict affects how each one plays their game. Like players on one side of a sporting team, less integrated characters don’t like to be on the sideline. They can be strongly influenced by and react with intensity in regard to what they think their ‘opposite’ characters are doing. Of course from the character’s point of view it is just trying to protect you from what it sees either as your lack of resources or from the ‘awful consequences’ in its eyes if the opposite team was allowed to get the ball. 3. Are there more than usual errors or gaps in accuracy, memory or perception? This is usually accompanied by a noticeably high level of energy while they are insisting it’s is not them (the inner protector character speaking) who is making these errors. The healthiest most integrated people make mistakes, forget, miss the point, or just don’t notice something in front of them. But a less integrated character’s patterns show up as more common occurrences of memories that are inaccurate or perception of events is that are distorted. Meanwhile, readily observable events may go totally unnoticed or be denied. There is a saying that each less integrated character wears different glasses, a different watch, carries a different ruler, a different notebook, a different map of the world and each one uses a different kind of computer, a different operating system and even a different kind of keyboard. After they experience lapses of memory or errors in accuracy they then exercise considerable vigour in insisting that it must be the other person’s inner protector character who is making the error (polarised thinking). 4. Are some of the spoken words, phrases or physical
or emotional patterns familiar or repetitive? •
5. Are the ways power and control issues are being handled unbalanced or polarised?
This can result in it working even harder (but
following its usual style) to reduce anxiety or vulnerability? (Rescuing,
surrendering, peacekeeping, pleasing, don’t rock the boat, giving up,
giving in, playing victim or martyr, procrastinating, avoiding decisive
action, avoiding decision making, even blocking stronger inner protector characters
who want to get on with things) The words the character is putting into your mouth or the actions it has you doing are about someone else, what that person is doing, about their actions or the impact of what they have done or said on you.
7. Is the inner protector character focusing on taking action around just one issue? Less integrated characters like to focus on single actions and outcomes rather than allowing time for planning or asking questions. 8. Does the inner protector character as it talks, projects a want, a need, an intention, or concern related to the hoped for results of their communication The level of energy related to this intention may be strong or weak, but if you can see, hear or feel some kind of pressure relating to the intention, this suggests a less integrated character is involved 9. Is the inner protector character’s unbalanced view or level of confusion noticeable enough to have an impact on other people?
Each of the above problem characteristics are in part related to the basic nature of less integrated inner protector characters which typically includes some or all of the following.
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Feedback - please e-mail me John Bligh Nutting - at bligh4@growingaware.com
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